Talk about Sex with Your Kids
Sex is a complicated topic and one that many parents try to avoid for as long as possible. Some parents believe that by avoiding the topic of sex, that they can “preserve their child’s innocence.” They believe that by keeping their children uninformed that they are somehow “protecting” their kids. But, in fact, the opposite is true.
Pedophiles (adults who prey sexually on young children), look for children who have little to no information about sex from their parents. These people target kids who clearly do not have good communication with guardians. You can try to train your child not to ever tell other adults that you and he (or she) don’t talk, but the fact is, pedophiles have a special radar for picking up information about how well a child gets along with parents. If you don’t talk with your child about sex, or other sensitive topics, other adults who are “tuned-in” will be able to tell.
When you talk with your children about sex, you not only protect them from pedophiles and sexual molestation but also rape and other potentially uncomfortable situations. The more kids know, the easier it is for them to avoid situations that seem questionable. A child who does not have information about sex is naïve to the ways of the world and cannot avoid situations because he has no reason to believe that they could turn disastrous. Educating your child about sex and sexuality provides him with the tools to evaluate situations and make a decision about them.
As kids get older and turn into adolescents, it’s important, as a parent, that you’ve laid the foundation for intense and honest conversations about sex. When children reach the age of 10 to 12 years, they need to start learning about boundaries in relationships. These boundaries help them negotiate boyfriend and girlfriend relationships with greater ease. It isn’t easy to establish boundaries and to know when to say, “no” without practice and thought. Parents who regularly talk with their children about sex can help prepare their children for their intimate relationships and help them learn how to set healthy boundaries in their intimate relationships. By encouraging their children to think carefully in advance about situations involving sex, parents can help their children make important, life changing decisions about sex that will benefit them throughout life.
By talking about sex, parents can help establish open lines of communication with their children. It isn’t a conversation that should be had only once. Rather, parents should attempt to converse with their children regularly about sex and sexuality. Each time they talk with their child, the conversation will get easier and more productive. As children learn that it is easy and comfortable talking with their parents about sex, they will ask more questions and be more willing to ask for help in making difficult decisions about their own sexual behavior. Parents who take the time to talk with kids about sex have the ability to confer their value system and moral code to their child. And children with parents who are able to discuss sex with them definitely have the advantage in life.
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